Ironically, this story coincides with the opening of a new Disneyland attraction based the film "Cars" in which Wilson played a hot rod that got his boost from high-octane fuel instead of cocaine. In the new attraction, guests sit inside a cute, anthropomorphic vehicle, lock the garage door, and run a hose from the exhuast pipe in through the driver's side window.
Details are scarce at the moment, but rumors abound that Wilson had "superficially" slashed his wrists and taken an overdose of drugs. In true comedic fashion, Wilson's screen partner Ben Stiller slapped his forehead in disgust before grabbing a bottle of sleeping pills to show Wilson how to do it right.
Some are arguing that this wasn't a suicide attempt at all but rather just a cover-up protecting Wilson's secret heroin addiction. But honestly, if your way of minmizing bad press is to make up a story about a suicide attempt, perhaps it's time to reevaluate your lifestyle. If he and Lindsay Lohan ever had a kid, it wouldn't be human--just a bulimic mass of pills, used needles, and regret soaked in Jack Daniels.
Actually, I happen to have the real scoop on what went down. After a series of thoughtful art-house films like "Bottle Rocket" and "The Life Aquatic" as well as an Academy Award nomination for co-writing "The Royal Tennenbaums," Wilson was expecting "You, Me and Dupree" to be his "Citizen Kane." However, as is oft the case in Hollywood, the studio wrenched control from Wilson at the last minute and turned his melancholy post-World War I epic into a brainless summer comedy about a simple-minded slacker named Dupree who likes margaritas.
Things went downhill for Wilson after he attended a screening of the film and saw that his character's heroic battle with polio had been re-editted into a farting contest with a dog.
At home, things weren't much better. What was once a fantasy life in which he dated Kate Hudson gave way to the stark reality that he dated Kate Hudson. Eventually the strain became too much to bear and the man whose delightful wit and charm made us look past his weird nose attempted to take his own life.
Hopefully Wilson will make a full recovery and the world will not be denied the completion of the "Shanghai Noon" trilogy. Until then, watch this oddly prophetic clip from "The Royal Tennenbaums" starring that other Wilson brother:
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